The Commentary Channel of John Swan is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its deadly medical pandemics, pith helmet sales, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.716 billion John Swanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 81.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient John Swanian economy, worth 837 trillion Likeses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 108,576 Likeses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Trying to toast marshmallows in an electric fireplace just isn't the same, graffiti graces every city's streets, citizens tint their front windows to avoid starring in the 'TV Detector Patrol Unit' documentary, and arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. John Swan's national animal is the Swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

John Swan is ranked 8,150^th in the world and 1^st in Atlanticana for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 10,367.63 on the Gilded Widget Scale.